SEX WITHOUT PROBLEMS |
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Retarded EjaculationSome men have difficulty ejaculating (coming) or cannot ejaculate. Delayed or retarded ejaculation happens more often with intercourse and less often with masturbation. It can occur occasionally and may not be an ongoing problem. For example, after an excessive intake of alcohol a man may have difficulty coming. With some men, delayed ejaculation happens nearly every time they have sexual intercourse and is of concern. What Causes It?The problem may be physical or may be a side-effect of a medication, in which case a medical practitioner should be consulted. More often, delayed ejaculation is caused by other factors. Some men, whose sexual stimulation most often derives from masturbation, cannot achieve the same pleasure from intercourse - the feeling is 'different', unfamiliar or not as strong.Anxiety or embarrassment related to sexual 'performance'. Tension, anger or disappointment associated with your partner and/or relationship. The practice of withholding ejaculation as a form of (unreliable) contraception. Fear of injuring your partner or making a female partner pregnant during intercourse. Childhood experiences or environment where a boy might routinely withhold ejaculations:
TreatmentRecognize the problem - realize it probably won't disappear by itself and may take some time to fix.Masturbate. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to masturbate away from your partner - masturbation is a healthy and very enjoyable part of a normal sex life. When you masturbate by yourself, use such a time as a practice session. Over time try gentler, different forms of stimulation especially as you get closer to orgasm. Use lubrication when you masturbate - try to simulate the physical sensations of intercourse, perhaps using a different hand. Use erotic literature, pictures or videos to arouse you before and during masturbation. When you find it easy to masturbate to ejaculation by yourself, try masturbating with your partner - either or both of you can try to make you come. Later, perhaps days or weeks later - there's no rush - let your partner help you insert your penis, at first immediately after orgasm then, another time, just before - get used to the sensation and continue to practice. Involve your partner. If you have a history of withholding ejaculation, you could regularly practice masturbation to orgasm in close proximity to your partner's vulva; over time you could ejaculate on the vulva and then, later, in the vagina. Try to focus on your sensations rather than your partner's.Practice touching, feeling and other sensations - such as mutual masturbation, massage and oral sex. Don't rush. Talk to your partner - tell them what stimulates you. Make sure you're rested and have placed other worries - business and financial, for example - to one side. It takes time to alleviate sexual problems. Don't feel embarrassed about seeking professional help if these techniques don't work for you and your partner. |
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